


Trouble In Paradise

by Janamelie



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 14:45:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1902939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Felineranger's wonderful "50 Shades Of Smeg", but you don't need to have read it to understand this.  Also, this doesn't contain BDSM - the rating is for other stuff.</p>
<p>I can't quite believe I wrote this.  The plot bunny simply wouldn't leave me alone.  Crackish smut, not intended too seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble In Paradise

He was sick of it.

No matter how many times Rimmer paid lip service to the notion that yes, of course Lister could take the lead in their sex life from time to time, his discomfort with the idea was palpable.  It had taken weeks to get him to agree to simply lie still on his back and let Lister ride him.  He'd been visibly surprised how much he'd enjoyed it; enough that they'd done it a few times since.

The notion of going any further remained a taboo subject however.  Lister wanted to suggest that he be the one restraining Rimmer, whether that be with ropes, handcuffs or the countless other instruments of discipline his billionaire husband had at his disposal.

Just for a change.  Just to know how it felt to be the one taking that role.

It wasn't that he didn't love things the way they were.  Smeg, "love" was too weak a word for the mindblowing nature of what they had together.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that his spouse should be able to trust him enough to surrender control occasionally.  If not in the dungeon, at least in their bedroom.  Wasn't that what marriage was based on?  Trust?

He'd tried a different tactic that morning, turning their usual embrace more purposeful by fondling Rimmer's delicious backside with intent.  He'd felt the beginnings of an answering hard-on, but as soon as he'd moved his fingers inward, the hologram had pulled away and left the bed, muttering about an important meeting as though Lister wasn't familiar with his schedule.  The meeting wasn't until noon.

He'd exited the shower to find that Rimmer had already gone down to his office.   A surprised and concerned Mrs Jones had passed on the message that he wouldn't be free until very late that night.

Well, two could play that game.  Thoroughly smegged off, Lister rang a workmate he'd recently befriended and asked if he could come over to their place for the night.

 

 

He passed a restlessly horny day at work before spending the evening drinking beer and playing computer games with Andy and his boyfriend Ross.  When they couldn't ignore their yawns any longer, they retired for the night, Andy telling Lister to help himself to their vid shelf if he wanted.  His wink indicated the type of vids he was referring to.

 

 

Lister impatiently rifled through the shelf, searching for one where the performers had appendages of a vaguely plausible size.  He didn't know which was more of a turn-off - boobs the size and shape of watermelons or cocks which looked as though they'd rip you in half.

An unusually classy cover - relatively speaking - caught his eye.  Captions proudly proclaimed it to be one of a series aimed at people of all orientations.  This one looked to be set on a thinly disguised version of a Space Corps Super Infinity Fleet ship.

He squinted at the lead male, wondering why he looked so familiar.  Curly dark hair struggling to escape from gel, a fairly prominent nose...

No need to look any further.  He shoved in the vid, his anticipation only enhanced by the slight feeling of guilt.

 

 

_Smeg, those jumpsuits are tight._ Were those really standard Space Corps issue?

The slender man playing the Captain was chairing a meeting of his staff.  As he started to speak, Lister blinked at his pronounced Ionian accent.  He was used to Rimmer's, but having travelled all over the galaxy and met settlers from every walk of life, it had faded to a soft twang.  This bloke's was so exaggerated, he had to be doing it for effect.

The penny dropped.  People from Io - generally speaking - were repressed, uptight bastards.  (Rimmer's description, not his.)  They were also overrepresented in the Space Corps due to it being regarded by the middle classes there as some kind of Holy Grail.  What better way to turn on a good portion of the audience?  It was one step short of dressing them all as monks and nuns.

 

And - he had to admit - it was kind of doing it for him.  The clipped tones reminded him of his husband as he'd first known him - no-nonsense and commanding.  Plus there really was a definite physical resemblance.

The Captain sternly threatened his staff with dire penalties if anyone else was caught having sex whilst on duty.  The flimsy plot thus economically established, the scene changed to him alone in his office.  He made a token attempt to look as though he was reading some kind of document before a petite blonde officer knocked politely.   The instant the door closed behind her, they embraced heatedly.

Lister's expectations were upended as a dark-haired male officer entered by another door.  The woman quickly disentangled herself and fled.

The officer - Jay - proceeded to seduce the Captain in his turn.  Lister watched, mouth agape, as the Captain's air of authority evaporated almost immediately.  He meekly adjusted his armchair to a reclining position as Jay unfastened his jumpsuit, revealing a substantial cock, and straddled him.   With only momentary hesitation, he obeyed the curt command: "Suck me".  
  
Rimmer gave him blowjobs all the time, but not like this.  Jay gripped the Captain's unravelling curls with one hand, using the other to slap his fingers away from the protrusion in his lap.  "Not till I say you can."

The Captain took his mouth off and feebly protested: "This is wrong - I shouldn't be doing this-"

"Yes, you should."  Jay teasingly rubbed the Captain through his uniform, eliciting a heartfelt groan, and firmly guided the Captain's lips - which were clearly willing, despite his words - back onto him.

Jay didn't really look like Lister, but he was roughly the same height and build, which was enough to send thrills down Lister's aching cock at the dynamic between them.

By now Lister was far too engaged to notice sounds outside his room until persistent knocking faintly registered in his consciousness.  


The door burst open.  "Dave, I'm sorry-"  Rimmer broke off with a gasp.

Brain fogged with lust, Lister staggered to his feet, hobbled over to his husband and kissed him vigorously.  "S'OK.  I forgive ya!"

Rimmer was rigid in his arms.  "Dave, stop.  We need to talk-"

"Don't wanna."  Just another excuse not to let him take charge for once.  He kissed his way along the scar on Rimmer's jawline and down to his neck, simultaneously stripping off his jacket.

"David, STOP!!!"

The sound of his full name at top volume, combined with a touch of the hologrammatic strength Rimmer never used against him without prior agreement, yanked Lister out of his erotic haze.  Bewildered, he finally took in the look on the older man's face.  Anger warring with shock.

Anger?  Come off it; they'd watched porn together before.  Shock?  This was a man with a smegging **dungeon** in his home.

"What?" he enquired in a small voice.

Rimmer pointed at the screen, flinched and snatched up the remote control.  Lister just had time to see Jay preparing to use a long, slim, glowing rod thing for a purpose its designers had presumably not envisaged before the screen flickered and died.  
  
  
  
"That's my brother!  Howard!"  
  
"Wha?!"  Lister felt his erection wilting like a cartoon flower.  "What?"  
  
Rimmer repeated himself, spitting each word out as though it caused him physical pain.  
  
"But - I thought yer brothers were all in the Space Corps?"  
  
"So did I."  Rimmer gestured at the screen.  "He wore that uniform to Mother's party."  
  
Lister goggled, then guffawed.  He tried to stop, but laughter shook him helplessly.  
  
  


Rimmer glared, stony-faced, but Lister was too far gone for it to have any effect.  His chuckles resounded through the room as the strain on Rimmer's features gradually lifted.

Lister gulped, wiped the tears from his cheeks and caught Rimmer's eye.  The slight suspicion of a smile there was enough to set him off again.

Rimmer's lip wobbled, then he finally gave in and succumbed to his own fit of the giggles.  They rocked against each other, united once more.

_We'll be OK_ , Lister silently reassured himself as he pulled Rimmer down into an embrace.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> A discussion on the LJ comm Red Dwarf Slash put this idea in my head. Thanks to Veronica_Rich and RoseCathy for their contribution. http://reddwarfslash.livejournal.com/518720.html
> 
> And of course to Felineranger for her wonderful epic, which can be found here. 
> 
> This fic is just a bit of fun, not intended to impinge on that at all. Regular Lister and Rimmer wouldn't have worked. :)


End file.
